Blue and Heather (Old)
by jaybyrds
Summary: A typical story of forbidden love. [Has been rewritten]
1. Chapter 1

The squirrel had no idea it was being hunted. Its ears twitched back and forth as it nibbled a seed, occasionally pausing to check for scents and movement.

But it still had no idea.

The gray cat in the shadows stared unblinkingly out at it, waiting for the right moment, none of her limbs even twitching. Her face was dark gray, darker than usual in the shadow of the bush she had stationed herself in. She took a slow step forward as the squirrel turned its back, then leapt forward.

Her back foot caught on a root and she yelped in surprise as it ripped from the ground. The squirrel, alerted, dropped its seed and dashed for a tree.

Furious, the cat with the gray face jumped forward and knocked it out of the air as it tried to jump onto the trunk of an oak. It let out a pained squeak as it hit the ground and the she-cat quickly nipped it to kill it.

_So much for dark and mysterious_, she thought furiously to herself. If her own yelp hadn't chased away everything in the trees, the squirrel's death-cry would have. _Next time don't fancy yourself invincible, _she reminded herself. _Just catch the prey._ She shook the root off her back paw and turned towards her hunting partner, who was _mroww_ing in amusement.

"Oh, don't feel bad," he mewed sympathetically at her expression. "You still caught it."

"No use hunting here anymore," she sighed at him, picking up her squirrel. He moved next to her, a sparrow in his jaws, and entwined their tails. She held hers stiff, but he didn't seem to notice.

"It's alright," he mewed around his sparrow. "Let's get these to camp. It's slim pickings anyway, isn't it, Darkgaze?" When she meowed in agreement he started forward. Darkgaze lagged behind him until she was level with his flank, her ears cocked for any sound of prey. They were nearly at the camp when she saw a mouse.

"Thornpelt," she called softly, dropping her squirrel. When he looked back, she jerked her head toward the mouse, and he nodded, picked up her squirrel along with his sparrow, and kept going.

Darkgaze caught the mouse quickly, with none of the silliness she had displayed earlier. She buried it, then took a quick lap around the immediate area, only finding another scrawny, tough sparrow. It was food, at least, even if it was stupid for being so close to the ThunderClan camp. She collected it and the mouse and finally made it back to camp.

Thornpelt was waiting for her near the entrance to the camp. The squirrel and his sparrow were nowhere to be seen, so she supposed he'd already put them on the fresh-kill pile.

He purred when he saw her. "Good job," he mewed, obviously proud of her. Darkgaze flicked an ear. It was just an old sparrow and a mouse. It wasn't like she'd caught a rabbit. She mumbled something unintelligible then padded past him to the fresh-kill pile. Hazelstar was nearby, turning the prey over in her paws, taking count. Her eyes glinted when she saw Darkgaze's catch.

"Is that all?" she mewed.

"Sorry," Darkgaze mewed back. "I tripped and scared off a lot of prey, I think. This is all we could find."

Hazelstar started speaking before Darkgaze had even finished. "Be more careful next time." She nudged a vole over to her. "Here, eat this now that you're back," she instructed. "You're going to the Gathering."

Darkgaze felt a thrill of excitement. "Really?" she mewed, hopping on her paws a little. Hazelstar nodded impatiently, moving the vole closer. Darkgaze scooped it up and moved over to a tom sitting by the warriors den. "Hawkear," she purred around her vole. The tom, her brother, looked up.

"Darkgaze," he purred back, a mouse in front of him. She sat down next to him and bit into her vole. "Are you going to the Gathering?" he asked around mouthfuls of his own food.

Darkgaze swallowed her bite of vole. "Yes, Hazelstar just said I could. I guess you are too?"

"Sure am. Thornpelt isn't, though," he said apologetically, inclining his head at her. Darkgaze felt a rush of relief and tried not to show it.

"That's too bad. I'll be sure to tell him what happened," she mewed instead of yowling in relief like she wanted to. Hawkear gave her an odd look, one she was becoming increasingly familiar with.

"I'm surprised you're not eating with him right now," he meowed carefully a moment later.

Agitated, Darkgaze retorted, "I don't have to spend every minute with him!"

"Of course not," he shot back. "He's only your mate, after all."

Immediately all the agitation she felt turned to guilt and shame. Feebly, she tried to defend herself. "I just wanted to eat with my brother for once."

That seemed to do the trick. Hawkear immediately looked sorry. "Well, of course we can eat together whenever you want. I'm sorry, Darkgaze. I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

She pressed her muzzle into his shoulder for a moment, glad she'd managed to distract him. "It's okay," she soothed just as Hazelstar's meow broke through the buzz of Clan chatter.

"Everyone going to the Gathering please get ready to go!" she called.

Darkgaze and her brother gulped down the rest of their food and quickly joined the others. Thornpelt meowed a farewell that Darkgaze halfheartedly returned in a way she tried to make seem fullhearted.

She and her brother followed the others out of the camp, and to the edge of the lake, which they skirted as they passed into WindClan territory. Eventually they were joined by WindClan's own collection of cats traveling to the island. Hazelstar and Cloudstar, WindClan's leader, exchanged typical greetings, but otherwise didn't mingle. The rest of their Clans, however, had no such disdain, and many cats were already greeting each other.

Smokestorm, one of ThunderClan's own, was talking animatedly with a WindClan warrior, a light-colored she-cat, as they traveled. As her Clanmate and his friend passed Darkgaze and Hawkear, Smokestorm bumped against Darkgaze. "Sorry," he mewed, flicking his tail across her flank. His friend tilted her head to look around Smokestorm, her eyes wide and curious. Her gaze lingered even as they passed the two siblings, the cat nearly tripping over Swiftstorm, WindClan's deputy, in distraction.

Darkgaze blinked in confusion at the WindClan cat as she righted herself. She gave a furtive glance back then faced forward, and a moment later she and Smokestorm had disappeared into the flock of cats.

The rest of the journey passed uneventfully and quickly. RiverClan and ShadowClan were already at the island, the cats lingering and sharing tongues while they waited for the other two Clans. ThunderClan and WindClan joined the fray, old friends meeting up.

Darkgaze took her own seat near the back, in a yet unclaimed spot. Her brother went off to meet with Seedwhisker, a ShadowClan cat, leaving his sister to fend for herself.

"Hi!" a cat chirped, and Darkgaze looked over to see the same cat Smokestorm had been talking to. Her pelt was a light cream color, darker stripes crossing her tail, and a striped mask of the same darker color on his face and ears framing light blue eyes. Darkgaze felt her heart flutter in surprise.

"Hello," she stammered. The cat took no notice of her surprise.

"I'm Springstep," she mewed. "Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

"Not at all," the other cat meowed. "I'm Darkgaze."

"Darkgaze," Springstep repeated, thoughtful. "It suits you. It's very pretty."

The ThunderClan cat felt her ears heat up. "Th-thanks," she mewed. "You're very pretty too- I mean, your name is." She averted her eyes to the tree the leaders were on. Springstep purred and started to say something else, but a yowl from the leaders stopped her. Both of their heads turned towards the leaders as the Gathering started.

When it was over, Darkgaze would have a hard time remembering anything that happened. All she could picture was blue and the smell of heather.


	2. Chapter 2

Darkgaze's claws ripped at the earth, her tail lashing. She paced, claws still out and gouging into the ground.

"What's got you so riled up?" her brother asked in concern, his tail touching her flank as she passed him. She just tossed her head and huffed.

"You've been like this since the last Gathering. What's wrong? You know you can tell me." Darkgaze looked at him, then slowed down her pacing. Her line of sight changed to the trees going toward WindClan.

"I feel.. restless," she finally mewed. She caught the scent of heather, and mentally pushed it away. "Too full of energy. I don't know why." Her claws dug into the earth again, and she ripped up a pawful of dirt.

"Well, we're supposed to be hunting," Hawkear reminded her. "And at this rate no prey will be left."

She shook her head again, then bounded into the trees, automatically falling into a hunting crouch. It didn't take too long for her to catch a squirrel, then a chaffinch, but it did little to get rid of the energy itching at her paws.

Hawkear shook his head as she piled her catch, and his, a mouse, together. A few minutes later he added another mouse to the pile of prey.

"I smell something," she mewed abruptly, falling into a stalking crouch. "Will you take the other prey back to the camp? I want to hunt over there." Hawkear sighed and nodded, moving to pick the prey they'd caught up. A moment later and he was gone.

When he had left, Darkgaze disappeared into the tall grass past the trees. She stalked forward, mouth open and scenting. She smelled rabbit and.. something else. Heather and wind. Her tailtip flicked irritably.

The rabbit was right near the border, just on ThunderClan's side. Darkgaze could smell the scentmarkers from where she was, and so could the rabbit, by the way it was nervously looking around. The heather scent increased, and Darkgaze risked lifting her head higher to see.

"Hey, a rabbit," she heard, and the rabbit froze.

"Too bad it's on ThunderClan territory," another, familiar voice mewed. At that the rabbit took off, right towards Darkgaze.

She leapt out, pinning the prey down with both paws and biting its neck. The WindClan patrol muttered to themselves, and Darkgaze looked up with the rabbit in her jaws. A thrill went up her spine and made her tail fluff.

Springstep was looking at her among three other cats, one who she recognized as Swiftstorm, the deputy. Her eyes were wide and bright with an emotion Darkgaze couldn't identify. The two other cats huffed at her and warned her to stay off their territory, though whatever effect it would have had was dented by the pride Darkgaze felt at catching a rabbit right in front of a bunch of rabbit-chasing WindClan cats.

She flicked an ear at them and turned back into the grass, prepared to take the prey back to camp... But stopped a moment later and dropped the rabbit, crouching back down to hide herself in the shadows.

The WindClan patrol moved on after remarking the boundaries, having no other reason to stick around. For a minute Darkgaze wondered why she'd even bothered to stay.. and then a familiar pale pelt appeared again, coming close to the border. She glanced around, ears twitching.

Her heart was beginning to pound. Darkgaze opened her mouth to let the wind wash over her scent glands, suddenly longing for the smell of heather. She stepped out. Springstep immediately locked onto her.

"I thought you'd left," she mewed quietly, moving closer to the border but not over it. "I hoped you hadn't."

Darkgaze closed the distance between them on her own side of the border. "I should have," she murmured.

"But you didn't." Springstep paced much like Darkgaze had been earlier. "I've been wanting to see you," she confessed.

The ThunderClan warrior realized she had too. The energy she had been feeling the days since the Gathering swelled. "I-I-" she stammered. How could she admit she'd been wanting to see Springstep too?

The WindClan cat leaned over the border to touch her nose against Darkgaze's. "You don't have to say it," she whispered, a growing warmth in her eyes. She leaned back then, the warmth igniting into a spark. "You feel it too, don't you?" She moved back, paws scrabbling at the earth. "Since the Gathering. I haven't been able to get you out of my head.."

Darkgaze felt another thrill. She remembered half-forgotten dreams: the smell of heather, a pale shade of blue. Slowly, she nodded, feeling an equal mix of shame and anticipation. Distantly she was aware that the longer they stayed, the more likely it was that they'd be caught.

Springstep seemed to have the same idea. She broke her stare for a moment to glance back towards where the rest of her patrol had gone, then her eyes flicked back to Darkgaze's. "I think I love you," she mewed, so soft that even Darkgaze, just mouse-lengths away, could only just hear her. "I know we only just met, but I can't imagine not ever seeing you again. I _have_ to see you again, Darkgaze. Please tell me you'll see me again. Please tell me you love me too."

Darkgaze took a step back. A brief flash of hurt appeared in Springstep's eyes. "I-I can't," she stammered. "We're from different Clans-"

"That doesn't matter!" Springstep rebuked.

"The warrior code," Darkgaze tried.

"We can still be loyal- it's been done before."

"It's been done _badly_," she mewed desperately.

"Love isn't bad. It can't be bad." Springstep pressed to the edge of the border. "If it was bad then-then StarClan would say so. They'd send a sign. Right?" she looked desperate, staring at Darkgaze with naked longing that the ThunderClan cat had a hard time not returning.

With a jolt she remembered something that made her queasy. "I can't," she mewed, defeat and sadness coating every word. "Springstep, I can't. I have a mate."

* * *

Note: I did not confuse the genders! Springstep and Darkgaze are _both_ female! I made no mistake. I didn't typo. They are both girls.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkgaze felt exhausted. The energy that had persisted since the last Gathering had gone and taken any other scrap with it. She could barely lift paw over paw to carry herself back to camp.

She remembered Springstep's expression, the hurt and horror in her eyes when Darkgaze had told her about Thornpelt. She had backed off, no longer as close, and Darkgaze had felt cold, missing the closeness of Springstep's fur already.

"Do you love him?" she had asked, and it was her turn to sound desperate. "Please, Darkgaze, tell me, do you love him?"

She hadn't been able to answer. The obvious thing to do was say yes, chase Springstep away, and forget this had ever happened. She'd tried, too, but all that came out was a pitiful rasp.

Springstep had gradually moved forward again. "You don't, do you?" she mewed hopefully, the devastation in her eyes draining away. "You don't."

Darkgaze had just shook her head hopelessly. "I need to go," she'd croaked. Springstep had nodded.

"I need to as well," she murmured, her tail twitching. "I still need to hunt so my abscence won't be as suspicious.."

They just looked at each other for a moment. "Whatever happens," Springstep had mewed before they both left, "I'll always love you, Darkgaze."

The rabbit felt heavy in her jaws. It was a long trek back with such a big piece of prey, but it was the biggest piece they'd had in moons, and she was determined to get it back to camp, even if her paws felt like rocks and her tail was dragging.

It was lucky, then, that Hawkear found her halfway back. He looked concerned at first, but then his expression brightened. "Wow!" he mewed, bounding forward. "Is that why you took so long? Good job, Darkgaze!" He sounded genuinely impressed.

She spat the rabbit out. "It's heavy," she complained, trying to act as if nothing was wrong.

He nodded. "I bet it is," he agreed. "Here, I'll carry it for you." She blinked gratefully at him when he picked it up, and together they started back toward camp. As they walked, Darkgaze's attention drifted. She hardly noticed where she was going, and she nearly tripped at least twice, causing her brother to snort in laughter around the rabbit. The tips of her ears flushed hot at his muffled snort. She wondered how Springstep's laugh sounded, what her purr sounded like. How her fur would feel against her own.

Darkgaze shook herself out of her thoughts when Hawkear dropped the rabbit.

"Agh, you were right," he mewed, opening and closing his jaw. "It is heavy."

She purred in amusement and picked it back up to carry it the rest of the way. Flarewhisker was the first to notice her catch. "Good job!" he chirped. "Can you take that to Jadefeather and Cherrypaw? I'm sure they'd appreciate it."

Darkgaze nodded around the rabbit and headed toward the medicine den. Hawkear meowed a farewell and walked off with the deputy.

Thornpelt was outside of the medicine den, chatting animatedly with the medicine cat and her apprentice. Jadefeather looked up at her as she approached and murmured something to the other two, causing them to look up.

"Darkgaze," he mewed when he saw her. "Wow! That's a big rabbit. Did you catch it?" She mumbled something and dropped it at Jadefeather's feet.

"Thank you," the gray cat murmured beneath her apprentice's happy mew. Darkgaze dipped her head to them and turned to Thornpelt. Her fur crawled.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked him, then added, "In private." He looked surprised, but nodded, and together they padded over to a secluded corner.

"What is it?" Thornpelt mewed, looking interested. "Oh! Do you want to have kits? Is that it?" His expression changed to excitement. His tail flicked behind him. "I think we're ready, Darkgaze, I think-"

"No!" Darkgaze burst out, surprised at the panic in her own voice. Her gut twisted. "Thornpelt, please listen."

He seemed disappointed, but not put off. "Well, alright, we don't have to have kits yet. It's your choice. But it's still an-"

"Thornpelt! I don't want kits with you! Not ever!" The words came tumbling out before she could stop them, surprising them both at her outburst. "I don't want to be your mate anymore." Whatever might happen between her and Springstep, she knew she couldn't be with Thornpelt anymore. She couldn't lie to herself and her Clanmates any longer.

He stared at her, unblinking, for a long moment. "I.. I don't understand," he mewed. His paws shuffled. "Don't you love me?"

It was much easier to answer that question when it wasn't by Springstep. "No," she mewed, quiet. Her shoulders slumped. "No, I'm sorry, Thornpelt. I don't."

He took a step back, eyes wide and ears laid back. "I don't understand. Why did you lie?"

"I'm sorry," she repeated, voice pleading.

"No.. No, you.. You led me on?" He sounded confused, and sad. He shook his head. "Darkgaze, why would you do that?" When she opened her mouth to reply, he shook his head again. "No. No, I don't want to know." He backed away from her, the fur on his back beginning to stick up. "It's over then, if that's how you want it." He turned tail and ran out of the camp, tail streaming behind him.

Darkgaze's feeling of relief was muted by a rush of guilt. When she turned, preparing to go into the den for a nap, she saw Jadefeather. The medicine cat was watching her, a piece of rabbit pinned under her paw. She tilted her head at Darkgaze, expression unreadable, then looked down.

Darkgaze had a feeling that the quiet medicine cat knew everything. It wasn't comforting at all. Feeling worse than she had in moons, she padded off, head hanging. The warriors den was empty, and she was able to take a nest at the very back of the den, as far from the entrance as she could. She curled up in the moss, batting away a stray feather that tickled her ear. She rolled over to get comfortable, then settled down and closed her eyes.

Her dreams were filled with a familiar shade of blue.


	4. Chapter 4

Thornpelt was avoiding Darkgaze.

Not that she wasn't avoiding him as well. They took different patrols, and slept as far from each other in the warriors den as they could. It was obvious to anyone paying attention that Darkgaze and Thornpelt were no longer together. Which was pretty much everyone, once cats started talking, but as neither one answered any questions about it, no one knew _why_ the ThunderClan couple was suddenly no longer.

Frostlark tutted over her daughter, licking her head to smooth down fur. "I can't say I understand," she mewed, "but..." She stopped, and tilted her head.

Darkgaze looked up at her. "But what, Frostlark?" she asked, curious at her mother's tone.

"You seem.." Frostlark trailed off, searching for the right words. "Lighter," she finally concluded. "I didn't notice it before, but you don't seem as unhappy as you did." She looked up, and her mew turned sad. "I hadn't even noticed you were unhappy."

"I did," Hawkear mewed, suddenly appearing. A feather was stuck to his fur. "Well, sort of. I noticed but I didn't know what it was." He licked a paw and passed it over the feather, then shook it off. "You do seem happier now."

Darkgaze felt a familiar twang of shame. "Was it that obvious?"

"No, not at all." Frostlark turned stern. "Were you hiding it? Is that why we didn't notice? Oh, Darkgaze, you shouldn't do things like that."

"You were that unhappy being Thornpelt's mate?" Hawkear mewed in surprise. He raised a paw and patted his sister. "Why did you get with him then?"

Darkgaze flicked her tail. "Everyone knew he liked me," she muttered, looking away. "They wondered why I hadn't got with him."

Frostlark looked startled. "Oh!" she gasped. "Oh, no, I was one of them. I'm sorry, Darkgaze, I hadn't realized.. I didn't want to force you two together."

The queen's daughter briefly pressed her nose against her cheek. "It wasn't just you," she assured her. "Even the elders were in on it. Said we needed more kits.."

"So you felt pressured into it," Hawkear finished thoughtfully. "You always were eager to please."

Darkgaze was about to answer him when Flarewhisker padded over. "Hello," he mewed. "Sorry if I'm interrupting. Darkgaze, will you go on patrol with Spottedface and Loudrain? Smokestorm was going but he switched to a hunting patrol instead."

"Which border?" she asked, feeling a surge in her chest.

"WindClan," the deputy meowed, flicking an ear.

Darkgaze tried very hard not to immediately jump up. "Alright," she mewed, standing up and stretching. She meowed farewell to her family, and padded over to where her Clanmates were. Loudrain peered at her, and she dipped her head.

"Hey," Spottedface mewed happily. "You're joining us? Good. Smokestorm talks too much." The other two purred in amusement, knowing she was right. Spottedface, the leader of the patrol, flicked her tail and turned to leave camp.

The trip to the border was mostly uneventful, besides Loudrain slipping on a rain-damp leaf and nearly twisting his paw. He shook it off and kept on with the patrol, even when Spottedface insisted he go see Jadefeather. When she didn't get a reaction out of the quiet warrior she just shook her head in exasperation.

WindClan border was as Darkgaze remembered it, wind-ruffled and fragrant with scents drifting down from the moor, and mingling with forest scents.

Springstep was missing from it, though. She felt another pang at not seeing the cream-colored she-cat.

The patrol finished remarking the borders and turned to go, trotting further down. Darkgaze lagged behind, dragging her paws. She looked across the border one last time and started to speed up.

"Darkgaze!" she heard, the voice a low hiss. She stopped.

Spottedface turned around, questioning. "Ah, hold on," Darkgaze called. "I'll catch up in a minute, I saw a juicy squirrel just now." The other two cats shrugged, and a moment later disappeared back into the trees.

Darkgaze turned back just in time to see Springstep rise from the grass. Her pelt had blended in nearly perfectly with the golden stalks. She bounded close the other cat, careful not to cross the border. "Meet me here at moonhigh, please," she hissed quickly, and when Darkgaze nodded, surprised, she ran off, disappearing back into the moor.

She felt light headed as she trotted to catch up with the other two. "It got away," she explained to them when she returned, empty-pawed.

"That's too bad," Spottedface mewed. "Squirrel sounds good right now, doesn't it, Loudrain?" The tom nodded, and sniffed. He leapt away a second later, much to the two she-cats puzzlement.

He returned when they were nearly back to the camp, jaws full of squirrel. He dropped it at Spottedface's paws, and looked away as she purred in delight. "Did you catch that for me?" she mewed in surprise.

Darkgaze felt a rush of envy at the display of affection between the two cats. Maybe ThunderClan would have new kits soon, though, she realized when Spottedface insisted Loudrain share the squirrel with her. Darkgaze shook her head when the other she-cat offered to share it with her, too. "Thanks, but you two enjoy it," she mewed, trying to purr. A moment later and she needn't have bothered; Spottedface and Loudrain were both too absorbed in each other to notice.

Darkgaze walked back into camp just in time to see Flarewhisker organizing another hunting patrol. "Can I join?" she asked, quickly trotting over. A hunting patrol would be a good distraction. It was only just past sunhigh.

Flarewhisker tilted his head. "Don't you want to rest?" he mewed in concern. "Well alright," he agreed, reluctant, when she shook her head. He motioned with his head for the she-cat to join Tanglefoot's patrol.

Time passed much too slowly for Darkgaze. She joined two more border patrols just to distract herself after hunting, but it still took too long for the sun to set.

Now, curled up into her nest (near the front of the den, this time), she felt all of the anticipation she had managed to keep at bay while the sun was up.

When no one in the den moved besides occasionally twitching, and the air buzzed with the sounds of snores, Darkgaze picked her way out of the den, careful not to step on Tanglefoot's tail.

Smokestorm was on guard duty, and Darkgaze was very careful not to alert him as she took the back way up and out of the gorge. She took off running as soon as she was a safe distance away, feeling the old energy return as she raced toward the WindClan border. It wasn't yet moonhigh, but she hoped..

Darkgaze slowed to a walk as she reached the border. Springstep was already waiting. She leapt to her feet and moved as close to the border as she could without crossing it. "Springstep," Darkgaze purred, and she purred back.

"I had to see you again," the WindClan cat mewed, suddenly serious. "I know you have a mate.. I'm not asking you to-"

"You don't have to," Darkgaze burst out. "You don't have to ask because I... I already did. I left Thornpelt."

Springstep stared at her in shock. "You did?" she mewed, voice tiny.

Darkgaze nodded. "You were right, Springstep. I didn't love him.. But I.." Springstep leaned forward, eyes wide, as she continued. "I do love you."

"I love you too," Springstep purred back, and they abandoned any pretense of borders to press against each other.

Springstep scent was lovely, a mix of heather and rabbit, and her fur was soft. Darkgaze was... happy. It felt perfect to be curled up against Springstep, feeling the rumble of her purr in her own bones.

"I don't ever want to leave," Springstep mewed, voicing Darkgaze's feelings. She purred in agreement and twined her tail with Springstep's.


	5. Chapter 5

Darkgaze rolled over onto her back and looked up at Silverpelt. Springstep pressed against her back, purring. A moon had passed since their first night at the border, and they'd met nearly every night since then, every chance they could.

Darkgaze's heart ached at the thought of having to leave again soon. "I wish we didn't have to go back," she mewed, blinking up at Silverpelt. Springstep was quiet for several long heartbeats.

"Maybe we don't have to," she whispered finally. "Maybe we can be together, for real."

Darkgaze turned over. "How?"

"We could.." She paused, thinking. "I could join ThunderClan. Or you could join WindClan."

Darkgaze would be lying if she said she hadn't considered that. "I don't know," she murmured. "I don't think that's a good idea.."

Springstep sat up, suddenly excited. "What if we did both? And-and neither," she mewed, staring intently at her mate. "What if we.. What if we both left our Clans. What if- what if we joined an entirely different Clan."

Darkgaze sat up too, looking at Springstep wonderingly. What if, indeed, she thought. "What Clan?" she asked, not much liking the thought of joining RiverClan and having to eat fish.

"ShadowClan," Springstep mewed promptly.

"ShadowClan?" Darkgaze repeated. "Why them?"

"Well.. Think about it. ShadowClan is the odd one out among the Clans, aren't they? They always have been."

Darkgaze considered that. "The rest of the Clans do tend to look down on them," she admitted.

"Exactly! What's two more outcasts? And we'd be loyal, wouldn't we? I'm not saying they'll immediately accept us.. But I think it's our best chance of really being together."

"I think you're right," Darkgaze murmured, thinking about Hawkear and Frostlark. She looked at Springstep, and knew she was thinking of her own family. She felt a momentary pang of regret for even considering leaving her family behind.

Then Springstep pressed herself against her side, smelling of heather and warmth, and Darkgaze knew she wanted nothing more than to be with her.

Darkgaze met Springstep two days later at the border. It was very early, the sun only barely beginning to rise. "The patrols haven't started yet," she mewed to her mate. "But we need to be quick."

Springstep nodded, and together they skirted the lake, careful to stay in neutral territory. The sun was fully over the horizon by the time they reached the ShadowClan border.

"Do we wait?" Springstep murmured, stretching her neck to look into the ShadowClan pines.

"Let's keep by the lake," Darkgaze mewed. "I don't want to be caught by a ThunderClan patrol."

They were only a little ways into ShadowClan territory when a patrol found them. "Stop!" one of the three cats yowled, fur bristling. Darkgaze couldn't remember his name. "What are you doing on our territory?"

Neither of them bothered pointing out that the edge of the lake was considered neutral. "We want to see Risingstar," Springstep mewed carefully.

The patrol came closer, hackles still raised. They sniffed. "A ThunderClan cat and a WindClan cat together?" a she-cat asked, suspicion coating her voice. "What is this?"

"Please, let us speak to Risingstar," Springstep asked again. "We can't do much harm, and we haven't hunted. We just want to see your leader."

The patrol grumbled among themselves for a moment. "Fine," the first tom spat. "But you'd better have a good reason for coming here." The patrol flanked them, keeping the two cats pressed close, though neither minded.

The pine trees blurred together as they walked, though Darkgaze tried to keep track of where they were. She wondered how she would ever get used to hunting here. If she ever hunted here.

The camp was busy when they got there, the cat Darkgaze recognized as Volepelt, the ShadowClan deputy, was in the midst of making patrols. At a call from the leader of the patrol, he turned.

"Cedarheart?" he mewed, bewildered. "What's this?"

"They say they want to see Risingstar," Cedarheart grunted. Volepelt tilted his head, then crossed to what Darkgaze assumed was the leader's den. A moment later the burly brown form of Risingstar emerged from his den.

"What's going on?" he wondered, his mew ponderous as he walked toward them.

"We-We wanted to speak with you about something," Springstep stammered, both cats suddenly nervous. "Privately, please," she added.

"Is it a matter of grave importance?"

"Well.. To us, yes."

He blinked at them slowly. "I think whatever it is can be spoken in front of my Clan," he mewed finally, and Darkgaze chanced a glance around. It seemed as if all of ShadowClan was watching them.. which they probably were.

Springstep and Darkgaze cowered for a moment, but then Springstep straightened, and her voice was strong when she spoke, despite a small tremor. "Risingstar, we respectfully request to join your Clan." Murmurs broke out across the camp, many of them outraged. Risingstar silenced all of them with a flick of his tail.

"Why?" he asked calmly, sitting down in front of them.

"We- I know we're both from different Clans- I'm WindClan. My name is Springstep," she mewed, stumbling over her words. "And.. my mate, Darkgaze, is ThunderClan."

More shocked mews broke out, louder this time. Risingstar flicked his tail again. "Your mate?" he repeated, looking between them. "I see. Go on."

"We know it's against the Code," Springstep continued, tone evening out. "That's why we decided we can't divide our loyalties anymore. We have to be loyal to one Clan.. but we also want to be together." They looked at each other for a moment.

Darkgaze spoke up now, her voice more tremulous than Springstep's had been at the beginning. "It's a compromise," she mewed. "We.. we both leave our Clans. We switch our loyalties to one Clan. Both of us give something up." She paused, then added, "Both of us gain."

"You chose ShadowClan," Risingstar mewed. "Tell me why."

Springstep didn't seem to know what to say, so Darkgaze continued. "ShadowClan has always.. you've always seemed to have been the darker of the Clans," she mewed carefully, ignoring a few mutters in the gathered crowd. "Among the other Clans you seem to be outcasts. We are too, Risingstar. Our Clans couldn't forgive us for dividing our loyalties. We'd be outcasts simply for following our hearts."

"We know it was wrong. But we're trying to make it right," Springstep added. "We don't expect to be welcomed with open paws. We expect to have to earn our stay here. To work to become ShadowClan." She glanced at Darkgaze. "That-that's all, Risingstar."

The tom considered them for a long time, all of the cats waiting for his decision. His head swung to look over all of them. "My Clan will decide," he rumbled. "The ones who would be your Clanmates will make the decision." Immediately chatter broke out. Risingstar flicked an ear. "They will tell us what they think, one at a time." The cats fell silent again. A queen stepped forward, two kits hiding behind her legs.

"You disgraced StarClan for pursuing your relationship in the first place," she mewed, tone icy. "You broke the warrior code each time you visited each other." Then her expression softened. "But you are obviously trying to fix your mistakes and make sure they never happen again." She nudged her kits back into the crowd. Another cat took her place.

"Your loyalties will be even more divided now," the new tom snarled. "What of your families? The friends you left behind? What of them? Do you think you could face them in battle and fight them off knowing they were once your own Clanmates?" He spat and turned back, having nothing more to say.

Springstep and Darkgaze flinched, but said nothing, letting the next cat step forward to say something. And then the next, and another, until half the Clan had voiced their opinions. All the testimonies blurred together until Darkgaze couldn't tell whether the majority of the Clan was for or against them.

When it became clear that no other cat was going to speak up, Risingstar spoke again. "I have one final question for you," he mewed. "If we say no, what will you do?"

Springstep and Darkgaze glanced at each other. "We've already decided that," Darkgaze mewed.

"We love the Clans," Springstep added. "Being warriors is what we were born to do. But we can't be without each other, either. If you say no, we'll take our chances outside of the territories. We'll leave."

"Forever?" Risingstar questioned. Both cats nodded. He tilted his head. "Alright." He looked to his Clan. "Everyone who is for these two joining ShadowClan stand on the other side of me. All who are against, stay where you are."

Paws began to shuffle, and slowly one cat after another peeled off from the group to stand on the for side. When all movement stopped, Darkgaze and Springstep dared to tally up the votes.

At first it seemed evenly spaced, with no discernible larger group. Then Risingstar stood up and spoke. "The Clan has decided," he rumbled, taking his place on the for side. "Darkgaze and Springstep shall be ShadowClan's newest warriors."

The against side of the camp remained quiet, while the for side murmured small congratulations to the stunned Springstep and Darkgaze just sat. "Th-thank you," Darkgaze finally mewed, Springstep nodding mutely beside her. "Please, we know you've done so much for us already but.. We haven't told our old Clans that we were leaving, in case you said no. We request that we be allowed to say goodbye to them before we join you permanently."

Risingstar flicked his tail. "You have until before sundown. Go, then. Get closure."

"And, ah... Do you think we could get an escort to the border? I'm afraid we'll get lost." Several of the cats purred in amusement at that. The queen who had spoken first stepped forward from the for side. "I'll take you," she offered, glancing at Risingstar, who nodded. She motioned to the two and set off out of the camp. Darkgaze and Springstep both murmured thanks as they went.

"I'm Fawntail," she told the two when they were a good distance away. "I'll show you a path that's easy to follow. You'll pick it up in no time, don't worry." She glanced at them. "I think you two are brave for this. Stupid for getting yourselves into it in the first place. But brave. Here's the path. It goes right to the ThunderClan border." They passed a copse of trees, and on the other side was clearly ThunderClan territory. "There you are. Come back soon." She dipped her head at the both of them and turned to go back to camp.

Springstep and Darkgaze exchanged a look and took a deep breath, preparing themselves. "I'll take you to the border," Darkgaze murmured. "So no patrol will stop you- I'll say I'm escorting you from ShadowClan, where you had business, or something."

Together, they stepped back into ThunderClan territory.


	6. Chapter 6

They met no resistance on the way to the WindClan border, something they were both grateful for. Darkgaze left Springstep to make her own way home, then turned back to the familiarity of the ThunderClan forest. She would miss it, she knew, but ShadowClan pines wouldn't be so different. She hoped they wouldn't be.

Darkgaze slipped into camp with no resistance, though she didn't know why she expected any. No cat called out to her, wondering where she'd been. She wondered where her family was.

She found Hazelstar first, the leader sunning herself near her den. She shuffled her paws, then started toward Hazelstar. The leader looked up when she approached, and rolled onto her side. "Hello, Darkgaze," she mewed. "We missed you on patrols. Did you go somewhere? For a morning walk, maybe?"

"I need to speak with you about something," Darkgaze mewed, trying to get her leader's attention before it wavered.

"I've been meaning to talk to you too," Hazelstar said, sitting up. "What happened with you and Thornpelt? Everyone wants to know-"

"Hazelstar, please, it's important-"

"Is it about you not wanting to have kits? It's alright if you didn't-"

"_Hazelstar_-"

"I'm sure he would have been happy to just _be_ with-"

"HAZELSTAR!" Darkgaze cried in desperation. "Please! I really need to talk to you, and not about that!"

Hazelstar twitched the tip of her tail, annoyed. "Well there's no need to shout. What is it, then? Though I hope when you're done you'll be more willing to-"

"Hazelstar, I am leaving ThunderClan!" Darkgaze burst out, startling them both.

"What?" the leader mewed, shocked into speechlessness for once.

"I'm leaving ThunderClan," she repeated, quieter this time, not wanting to attract attention. "I.. A couple of moons ago I met someone. A WindClan cat. Hazelstar, we fell in love."

Hazelstar gaped at her. "Is that-"

"It's why I left Thornpelt. I'm sorry, Hazelstar, but I can't break the warrior code anymore, so I.. I'm going to-"

"Join WindClan?" Hazelstar guessed, regaining her senses. When Darkgaze shook her head, she questioned, "No? Then you're leaving the forest?"

"No! Please, let me explain. We're joining ShadowClan. They've already accepted us."

"That's where you were," Hazelstar realized. "You went to ShadowClan."

"You have to understand," Darkgaze mewed, desperation creeping back into her voice. "I love her."

"Her?" Hazelstar said, startled again. "A WindClan she-cat?"

"Yes! I didn't choose this, but I'm trying to fix my mistakes. We'll join ShadowClan and be loyal to them, to each other. We've discussed it. It's the best possible action."

"What about her joining ThunderClan?"

"How can I ask her to leave her Clan while I keep mine? How could she do the same to me?"

"You both leave your Clans," Hazelstar realized.

"We both lose something. We _both_ do. It's the fairest for both of us."

Hazelstar flicked her tail sharply, agitated. "So you're just going to leave your Clan. Your family. Just like that."

"I don't want to! I don't. I love all of you, so much. But I can't be without Springstep. We've already talked it over. We know what we're doing. It's what we want."

"What about Hawkear and Frostlark? What of them?" Hazelstar stood up. "But I can see I won't change your mind. Go tell your family, if you haven't already." She hopped down from the rock she was on and lumbered off, calling for Flarewhisker.

Cats lingering around the camp were already giving them odd looks. Darkgaze padded over to Smokestorm and Tanglefoot, the two cats chatting. "Have you seen Hawkear and Frostlark?" she asked them, trying to keep a tremor out of her voice.

The two cats glanced at each other. "Frostlark's in the nursery, helping out," Tanglefoot mewed. "I think Hawkear is out on a hunting patrol. He should be back soon."

Darkgaze thanked them and walked off to the nursery, hoping that by the time she'd finished talking to Frostlark Hawkear would be back. She stuck her head into the nursery entrance, and a few quick words were all it took to draw Frostlark over to a secluded area of the camp.

"What's wrong, Darkgaze?" Frostlark mewed, concerned at how tired her daughter seemed.

Darkgaze blinked slowly at her, and mewed, "Frostlark, I'm leaving ThunderClan," shocking her mother into silence. Quietly, she explained the same things she had to Hazeltail. Her mother said nothing as her daughter talked. Darkgaze trailed off, feeling more tired each time she told the story. She waited, nervous, for her mothers reaction.

Finally, Frostlark leaned forward and brushed her nose against Darkgaze's. "I just want you to be happy," she murmured. "I will always be your mother, even if you're ShadowClan. Come. Let's find your brother. I doubt he'll take it as well as I have." Though her words were strong, Darkgaze could see a sheen of sadness in her eyes.

They found Hawkear just treelengths from the camp, carrying fresh-kill back to the camp. Frostlark and Darkgaze stopped him, and together they explained, Frostlark's words soothing her son as his eyes widened in panic and his fur fluffed.

He handled it as bad as Frostlark said he would. He pleaded, begged, switched to anger and offense, and back again, a whirlwind of emotions as he tried to keep his sister in her birthClan.

Darkgaze did not give way, even as her shoulders slumped and exhaustion threatened to overcome her. Finally, Hawkear fell silent, his eyes shining with betrayal. He picked his prey back up and walked away. They let him go.

Frostlark let her daughter lean against her for long heartbeats, her tail wrapped around her daughter's flank. Their solitude was interuppted when Spottedface appeared. "Hazelstar wants to see you," she mewed, puzzled.

Frostlark and Darkgaze followed her back into the camp, where the Clan was assembled. Hazelstar was already positioned, her shoulders pushed back and held head high. After a moment, when Darkgaze was suitably centered in the clearing, she spoke. "Darkgaze has left ThunderClan," she announced, mew betraying no emotion. "Henceforth she is ShadowClan, and shall be treated as such. Allow her no leniacy. Treat her as you would any other outsider." She looked over at where Loudrain and Scarletdream were sitting, and indicated them with a wave of her tail. "Escort her to the border." Ignoring the murmurs and mutterings of her Clan, she leapt down from her perch and stalked into her den.

Darkgaze gave her mother one last nuzzle and then obediantly left the camp, flanked by Scarletdream and Loudrain. Neither of them spoke to her, though Scarletdream did look at her with unmasked curiousity. Across the clearing, Hawkear and Thornpelt both made it a point to not look at her.

Outside of the camp, Darkgaze spoke to her escort. "Can we please go to the WindClan border first? There's someone I need to meet there." Loudrain glanced at Scarletdream, who nodded, and together the cats veered toward the boundary between ThunderClan and WindClan.

Springstep wasn't yet there when they arrived, but they didn't have to wait long. The sun had barely reached sunhigh before she showed up, two three WindClanners escorting her. Both of the patrols seemed very confused to see each other, and even more confused when Darkgaze and Springstep immediately went to each other, purring.

A heartbeat later and they pulled away from each other. Darkgaze dipped her head at Springstep's patrol. "Thank you," she mewed. "We can take her the rest of the way to ShadowClan now." The WindClan patrol shrugged and backed away, going slowly to make sure they really left.

Together, Springstep and Darkgaze turned in the direction of the ShadowClan border. "Wait!" Scarletdream cried out, unable to take the confusion anymore. "What is going on? Why are you joining ShadowClan? Who is this cat?"

"This is my mate Springstep," Darkgaze explained.

"Your mate?" Scarletdream mewed, still just as confused. Even Loudrain looked surprised.

"We're joining ShadowClan together," Springstep mewed. Scarletdream opened her mouth to ask another question, but Loudrain nudged her. Her mouth snapped shut and she scowled.

"Come on then," she mewed. "Let's get you out of here and to the border."

"Are you alright?" Darkgaze murmured to Springstep as they walked.

"Fine. It went as well as you could expect."

"My brother was very upset. He didn't even say goodbye." Darkgaze felt a sudden rush of regret and her steps faltered. Springstep pressed her pelt against hers and murmured reassurances.

"My father told me to never come back," Springstep sighed, and they paused for a moment to comfort each other. Their escort shuffled their paws awkwardly as they waited for the two cats to start moving again.

Darkgaze and Springstep pressed against each other and started walking, managing an even pace. The sun was past its peak when they reached the ShadowClan pines. Loudrain and Scarletdream left them there, mewing uncertain goodbyes.

The two cats took the path Fawntail had shown them, careful to stick to it and not get themselves lost in the pines. They found the camp easily using it, and entered well before the deadline Risingstar had given them. The cats grouped in the ShadowClan camp fell silent as they entered. They recieved nods from some, while others pointedly looked away. Like when they voted, the cats seemed well divided between ones who would snub them and ones who would welcome them.

Risingstar was the first to really greet them. "You're here to stay, then?" he mewed, and when they nodded, he continued. "Good. There are a couple of patrols who need to come back first, and then we'll start." Darkgaze and Springstep exchanged a confused glance. Start what?

They didn't have to wait long. The remaining patrols filed into camp not long after, one of them setting prey down on the fresh0kill pile before joining the ranks of their Clanmates. When everyone was gathered, Risingstar took his place at the apex of the Clan.

"I, Risingstar of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these two cats," he mewed. "They have made their mistakes and wish to attone for them. With your help and the support of their new Clanmates I pray they will succeed." He glanced meaningfully at the gathered cats. "Springstep, Darkgaze, do you promise to be loyal to the Clan who would accept you? To put your past mistakes behind you and embrace the future StarClan has laid out for you?"

"We do," both cats mewed in unison, their voices strong.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, we welcome you to ShadowClan," Risingstar mewed, satisfied. Yowls erupted from the crowd, calling Springstep and Darkgaze's names, more than they had expected. They felt a rush of warmth from the welcome, sparse though it may had been at first.

The two cats looked at each other, and knew in their hearts that this was where they belonged, together.


	7. Epilogue

Moons have a habit of passing, and in ShadowClan they were busy ones. Darkgaze let her tail fall over Springstep's flank, their legs pressed close in the den. It was thankfully not that full in the den, otherwise they wouldn't be together, not until the sun rose.

The moonlight shown through the entrance and small openings in the den's roof, bathing the den and its occupants gently. Darkgaze felt a warm contentment in her belly. ShadowClan is lovely, she thought sleepily, though it was different in minor ways than ThunderClan.

Images flashed through her mind of the moons leading up to now, blurry scenes she'd be able to remember clearly if she wasn't half-asleep: Hawkear, repentant, at the border of ShadowClan, begging her forgiveness. The joy in his eyes when she'd accepted, how she told him they would always be kin, even across a border. How he'd turned to Springstep and told her that he'd never seen his sister happier than when she'd met her. How they'd all turned and walked away, their relationship mended and still strong.

Jadefeather, the quiet ThunderClan medicine cat, stopping her at a Gathering three moons after their switch, and muttering how StarClan was content with their choice, and how she wished them well. The knowing look in her eyes as she watched Darkgaze and Springstep together, though there should have been nothing more to know.

And another, of a battle between ShadowClan and ThunderClan, fiercely fought against those who had been her own. She remembered Thornpelt, his eyes blazing with hatred as he tackled Springstep, his claws out and fighting with deadly force, too much for just a border skirmish. How Darkgaze herself had abandoned her own enemy and threw herself at him, a deafening screech tearing itself from her throat. The roar that seemed to come from LionClan itself, as she swore to StarClan and beyond that if he _ever_ set a paw on her mate again she would send him to his ancestors personally. The bitter taste of his blood in her mouth as she stood protectively over her Springstep, watching him flee with his tail between his legs. And, later, personally helping Silverleap and her apprentice patch Springstep up.

And one of the first, and most clear, of Risingstar proudly announcing both her own and Springstep's at their first Gathering as ShadowClan, and the other Clans' confusion in the midst of ShadowClan yowling their names, slowly joining in, of hearing Hawkear and Frostlark's voices as some of the loudest.

Darkgaze remembered her Clan slowly warming to her and Springstep, the quiet acceptance and then familiarity as their scents lost their old affiliation and became ShadowClan, of their Otherness status fading. Of Fawntail's cool kindness and her two kits' happiness to make new friends. Of their apprentice ceremony and the amusement she felt as Quickpaw lamented not having either of them as her mentor.

The warmth she'd felt getting to know the ShadowClan kits, and knowing Springstep felt the same way by the purr in her throat and the gentleness of her paws. Of the movement in Darkgaze's own belly days later, and the excitement as for the first time she realized she really did want this.

And now, in the present, seeing the small kit curled in the protective embrace between both of their paws, eyes not even open yet.

She felt, with Springstep and Farkit so close to her, their mingled smell of heather and milk curling around her, heavy and comforting, that she would not trade them for all the stars in Silverpelt.

_Dedicated to Jack, the (platonic) love of my life._


End file.
